It was my birthday and I turned 37 years old on that special 15th December 2017. But the day before my birthday, I ignore why, but I was feeling extremely bad, depressed and often had emotional breakdowns which lead me to cry. I was home alone with my son and felt completely demotivated, the same kind of feeling that I have when I have a bad presentment… But thank God everything went on well for me for my birthday, a very simple celebration I did together with my husband and my son with a lovely flower bouquet, a lovely card and birthday cake my husband and my son gifted me this morning during breakfast, followed in the evening by a lovely dinner in a South Asian restaurant in the central part of Abu Dhabi. There were also a few fellows who thought about me and who greeted me happy birthday.
I am not very talented when it comes to numerology, but I noticed two things, regarding my 37th age in one hand, and regarding the year 2017 in another hand. If we add the numbers in 37, you obtain 3+7 = 10. And if you add all the numbers in the year 2017, it gives 2+0+1+7 = 10. Now if you add the numbers in number 10 you obtain 1+0=1.
Number one is interpreted in different ways in religion and in numerology, and when I read the little descriptions which were given and which I found yesterday on Google, I immediately recognized the unicorn which was still dormant within me, since most of the meanings I discovered were linked with one’s individuality. For example, in Feng Shui, it represents one’s wholeness and independence. In the Holy Bible, it represents unity if interpreted as a cardinal number, or primacy if interpreted as an ordinal number. But for me, it has two great meanings, which I would like to explain to you, and for which in that blog post, I will reveal for the very first time at least one of the names which are part of my true identity: UMA. I completely ignored about that character, but when I looked for a logo personifying my name, I came into a new Disney character named Uma, and who is the daughter of the sea witch Ariel from the Little Mermaid. I have seen an interesting description of that character, and most of the details in her description match with my own personality as Uma:
Uma is sassy, manipulative, and ambitious. Though she has a tough exterior, she seems to care deeply for her crew along with other people who are being mistreated on the Isle. She has been shown that she could be self-less even in moments of tension. When Harry returned from the water after having jumped into it to look for his hook, even though she was rushing in the fight against Mal, Uma stopped for a moment and helped her friend get into the docks.
However, Uma has different ways when it comes to treating strangers and enemies, like Mal. She’s manipulative and would use any possible way to keep her rival wrapped around her finger, like kidnapping Ben in order to give Mal more pressure into handing over Fairy Godmother’s Magic Wand.
Despite the opinion of the majority, Uma is just “an angry girl with a bad plan” who wishes to be heard.
I’m especially smiling when I read that Uma is a sassy girl and I admit that it’s also a part of my personality which I cannot deny 🙂 But what captured my attention most was when Uma was described also as an “Angry girl with a bad plan”. Alike Uma, I am an angry girl too, or rather an angry woman since I have been living in silence too often and had to bear and to endure too many struggles for which I had to suffer and to cry in silence. But contrary to the Disney character, I don’t have any bad plan, but all I have thirst for justice and triumph of the truth above all those struggles, and I am using that blog and all the themes, posts, short stories, book reviews, my own books and that future project I am preparing to have all that anger voiced out, but in a constructive way. There are also moments I will sound vulgar, aggressive, bold and violent too in my posts, but I am telling you all that I am counting on you to access to all my writings with an open mind and to keep away from me if you will come with negative, insulting and immature critics.
The second meaning of the number one for me is the concept of being a unique human being. UMA, in Portuguese, is translated by ONE, and I personally interpret ONE as UNIQUE, which also explains my passion and my firm belief into the power of the Unicorns. Remember on my blog homepage the drawing of the unicorn, with the quote “Always be Yourself unless you become a Unicorn. Then, always be a unicorn”. This quote has a very big meaning to me, since every human is born original. Unfortunately, very few humans chose to preserve their uniqueness, and instead keep on copying on others until loosing their own life footsteps. A friend of mine, who is at the head of an NGO in my country once told me something I really enjoyed, which is the fact that he believes in diversity being the essence and beauty of unity. And for having diversity around you, it’s important that you cultivate your own personality instead of copying other people if you really want to bring an original touch of yourself in this world to make it more beautiful and more meaningful. The poem I posted above that paragraph perfectly summarizes my concept of linking uniqueness with unity.
The third meaning of my real name UMA lies in Hinduism, since Uma is one of the numerous names of Goddess Parvati, who is the consort of Lord Shiva the Destroyer. In this article about Uma Goddess, which I bookmarked a couple of months ago, it’s mentioned about the Umananda which represents the bliss of Uma, as the destroyer of all causes of suffering and the restorer of love. It’s also the same Uma who conquered Lord Shiva’s heart by her devotion and pureness as a Yogini. This name is also sacred for me, because behind this, there is a personal part of my story, which is unfortunately a sad one and which I chose to relate with you today on my birthday. I mentioned in another page that I wrote that half my origins were Creole. But when my mother married my father, who came from a Hindu family, one of the conditions made for her by the priest would be that she would have a Hindu name during the performance of the Hindu wedding rituals, and the Hindu name given to her was Uma. When I was born, she transferred me that name, with the only difference that my mother’s name Uma was only a spiritual one, whereas mine was written officially and legally on my birth certificate. In general, when a parent transfers his or her name to the child during the naming, it should have been considered as a bliss, but for me it was rather a damnation. My mother never respected the sacredness of her newly Hindu name Uma and ruined our family because of her accumulated mistakes and bad tricks linked with her megalomania, eccentric personality and since she was reputed to be a manipulative, narcissistic and sociopath woman, spouse and mother. I won’t mention too much about her here, since my family experience will be mentioned in more details in another sub-blog about the conflict between youngsters and the elderly. But I can say also that in addition to all that, she dishonored the name Uma through black magic since she used to do some strange prayers to Maha Kali, who is the Tantric representation of Goddess Uma, to destroy my siblings and even to destroy myself. There was a link which I wanted to share on that blog post, which I couldn’t retrace, but I remember that in that link, unfortunately some priests specialized in black magic used to perform some strange rituals to hurt their clients’ victims, though it’s something which is rarer. Unfortunately in Mauritius, such priests exist and one of them came every Friday at our place after my patriarchal half-brother (since he was my father’s son from his first marriage, and since I am his daughter from second marriage) married the love of his life without my parents’ consent, and since my mother wanted to destroy that marriage with the help of that priest, who used to perform some strange incantations to Maha Kali. My mother also did some insane rituals to Maha Kali as well to kill my patriarchal half-sister, since the priest asked for a life to complete the ritual to destroy my patriarchal half-brother’s marriage life, and she even tried to do the same with me years later after I got married, since she never agreed with my choice for my husband and since she wanted to revenge further to a fight she created in 2007 at my in-laws’ place, for which I stood besides my in-laws instead of my parents since my mother-in-law was mostly wrong, though there were points on which I admitted she was right, and those are details I may talk more about in another sub blog I created recently.
Because of all those insanity that my mother did, the name Uma she took and gave me turned spoiled and damned since she blasphemed it completely. Each time that I was using my name Uma, even though I was always telling people that my name was Uma instead of the second name that my mother gave me, and which I will keep confidential for the moment, I was always having problems. But this year, I would like my birthday to be special, since my age and the year 2017 gave, as a numerology result, the number 1, linked at the same time with my name, the uniqueness of every single person on Earth including myself, the Unicorn spirit I feed through my blog and the meanings given through my name Uma. Also on that special day of mine, as I told my husband, I don’t want anything which makes of a birthday celebration an additional chore, nor do I want any material gifts from anyone since the little celebration we did together was more than enough to me, even though in return, my husband pampered me a lot during the weekend, and I need to admit it. In reality, there are three wishes around my name that I would like to share with you all on my blog:
The first wish is that I would like to give to my name Uma the dignity and purity that was lost because of my mother, and to make of my name Uma a proud name and no more a shameful name like my mother did. Saying that, I have a special thought for a Filipino gay superstar whom I sincerely admire and regularly acknowledge on my social platforms, in the name of Sinon Loresca Jr. Sinon inherited his name from his father, whose name was also Sinon Loresca. But contrary to his son Sinon Loresca Jr, his father was a big brute without feelings for LGBT people, and who was hurt in his deepest ego since he came to know that his son was gay, at such a point that he kept on beating and punishing Sinon regularly because of his LGBT orientation! But instead of abiding to his father’s wills, Sinon left his parents’ house and lived in the streets of Manila collecting garbage for a survival, before a helping hand came to him to do a more decent work in a fast food, as his first step to ascending back from rags to riches and becoming today a great model, actor and presenting a local TV program, “Eat Bulaga”. Sinon Loresca Jr. explained through the movie of his life in “Magpakailanman“, a local Filipino TV program, that though his father abused brutally of him, he still feels love for his father, since he dues his name to his father. With determination and courage, Sinon transformed the ugliness within the brutality of his father into unconditional love and positiveness by spreading not only his popularity as the King of Catwalk, but also by making of his name Sinon Loresca Jr, which was the same name he inherited from his father who was named Sinon Loresca, a name of fame and not a name of shame. This is in that purpose that I personally wish, one day, to restore the dignity and beauty of my name Uma, inspiring myself on Sinon’s story. If Sinon could do it, then why cannot I? I don’t want anymore my name Uma to be misused as the bad part of Maha Kali. I am myself a devotee of Maha Kali, and I was explained that as a Tantric Goddess, however people may worship her for the good or for the bad, it works as well for one as for the other with Maha Kali, contrary to all other Vedic and Puranic Gods of Hinduism, who are prayed only for the good and not for the bad. I would also like to restore my name, since in every woman there is an Uma Goddess prospering and making women stronger than men since they carry the burden of the household, family and chores on her shoulders for free, even though she is also working and earning money at home.
The second wish that I would like to share with you all still concerns my name Uma, but in another dimension. As I mentioned before, Uma is translated in Portuguese as “One”. The fact that I turned 37 years old and that I celebrated it in year 2017, and that in numerology both of those numbers result as one like I mentioned previously in that blog post, it’s a real bliss to me. Through the sub-blogs that I have already created in my other page, you will discover through all the material that I will write and publish in them several shades of life, which were, for the most of them, inspired from my own life and struggles linked with my family’s dysfunctions, problems I faced at school especially due to bullying and competition from my teachers and other students, loneliness, incomprehension, rejection, misunderstanding, discrimination, injustice, betrayal and abuse. All those life struggles made me suffering a lot, but I am slowly but surely rising again and re-building my own personality with the help of a small but sincere bunch of people around me, starting with my husband and a few loyal friends, though I have to do the majority of my personality reconstruction by myself, with that blog as a strong material to retrieve and to resource myself better. I link “One” with individuality, since each human being is born original and should never die as a copy. I link “One” as what my friend interpreted as unity within diversity, since I have been raised into three cultures since I was born, including the Indian and Creole culture at home, the French culture at school and in university and the World Citizen culture based on the three countries where I have been living out of Mauritius, which are Madagascar, the Seychelles and now the United Arab Emirates, and on several parts of the world which I have had the opportunity to visit, including La Reunion, South Africa, France, United Kingdom (England), Canada (Quebec), India, Malaysia, Singapore, Germany, The Netherlands and Belgium. Finally, I link “One” with Unicorn, since unicorns are legendary mythical animals who live away from civilization and which are rare and hard to find.
My third wish, based on the fictional character Uma as Ursula’s daughter mentioned above, is a fight that I keep on doing everyday, since it’s been something I have been cultivating for years as a unique child who was raised as a golden child for both my parents, as a second marriage daughter, and for which I have also been victim from people who acted against me as emotional vampires and attention seekers: EGO. Especially further to a horrible experience I had with a public figure, which costed me 26 years of intense friendship based on spiritual sisterhood between a relative of mine and myself, until I came to discover her true colors and that behind her so-called caring and loving nature, she was an elegant monster and that public figure’s female avatar!
I would like to end there by thanking from the bottom of my heart all those who thought of me through their warmful birthday wishes via my husband’s Facebook account, and I am very thankful especially to my husband to have made of that weekend a very special one with the outings we had outdoors and the special birthday breakfast I had with a lovely sponge cake with coconut icing, and a lovely bouquet of flowers my husband and my son offered me, without forgetting also the special dessert, treats and bouquet I received from the restaurant where I had dinner today with my little family in Dubai.
Stay blessed always,
Uma AKA Ekasringa